Sexually Abused Children - Story # 3:
More than Half of a Lifetime!
Please read the Introduction, story #1 and story #2 before you begin this story!
(The names of the children have been changed to protect their identity and safety)
I met her by chance and from the beginning I had never intended for her to be my "subject" to observe and survey because she was not a minor. That day, I was sitting at a coffee shop waiting for the pimps to bring out the younger "goods" (the young girls) for me to choose. Then she walked in. She took no notice of me and went straight for the white men sitting at the table next to mine. I couldn't hear anything they said, but I knew she was a prostitute from the way she walked and dressed.
NBC Dateline-Children For Sale
source: http://www.msnbc.msn.com/id/4038249/
trying to sell herself to the white men, she pulled up a chair to my table and sat down-as if we were old buddies. She pulled out a pack of cigarettes and offered me one. After about ten minutes of
"No, thank you, I do not smoke," I answered.
"Sorry," she said and continued to smoke her cigarette.
I stood up to leave because I was annoyed and agitated by the smoke, when she quickly grabbed my hand and pleaded:
"I am hungry; please give me ten dollars for food."
I have had people begging me for money many times this way. Not just here, but also in America and Europe, all they want is some money to buy drugs. My American parish also gets these "visitors" on a weekly basis. I never give them money, but if they are hungry, I buy them some food. And today was no exception. So I said:
"Let's go to a restaurant, I'll buy you food." Usually people who beg for money to buy drugs won't accept my offer, but she wasn't one of those. She immediately stood up, pulled me out of my chair, and began walking me toward a small restaurant across the street. As we carefully crossed the busy street she said:
"Thank you! You are a good man!"
We went inside the restaurant and sat at a table in a corner.
She asked, "How much can I eat?"
"As much as you want," I answered.
"Thank you. You are a good man." She repeated with eyes full of gratitude.
I didn't eat anything because I had just eaten lunch. I sat there watching her eat and attempted to initiate a conversation. Of course, I didn't ask her where she lived or what she did for a living, because I could already guess who she is. She gave me more information than what I asked for and I had to admit, her English was quite good. Although her grammar could've used some work, but her pronunciation and pitch was not bad overall. Towards the end of the meal, she asked me what I did for a living and why I was in Cambodia. Just as always, I told her that I was from Singapore and I was devastated that my wife had been disloyal, so I am here to be away from the house, the familiar environment, and especially my... wife! After hearing that, she didn't ask any further. The rest of our conversation was random and trivial.
When she had finished eating, I called for the check-$3.50 was the total of her meal and my drink. I handed them a ten and when I got the change back, I tipped the waiter $1.50 and gave her the remaining $5.00 for her dinner-and proceeded to leave. The girl thanked me as I left the restaurant, but continued to remain in her seat.
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I had only walked about a block when someone from behind tapped me on the shoulders and said,
"Thank you again, sir! You are a good man!"
"No problem," I said after recognizing it was her - the same girl.
"Which hotel are you staying at? Let me stay with you."
"You don't need to know where I am staying" I replied in a rather irritated tone because I didn't want her to come with me.
"I will pleasure and serve you from A to Z (sexual gesture). You are a good man; I won't take your money. You just need to provide me with food."
"No, you cannot come home with me," I said angrily.
"Do you have a wife or girlfriend or something? Let me come home with you, I won't take your money."
"I already said no. Please do not bother me anymore."
At that point, I hurried off and disregarded what she was saying.
Instead of walking back to the hotel, I called for a motorcycle to take me to the shopping mall, even though I didn't need to buy anything. I just wanted to get away from her. I walked around the stores for about half an hour and as I was leaving the mall, I saw her-legs crossed on a motorcycle. She saw me walk out and raced towards me and said:
NBC Dateline-Children from sex ring "have a future"
source:http://www.msnbc.msn.com/id/20186675/
It was really hard to avoid Nga (the name I gave to the girl), because all she wanted was to be with a "good man," one who would not take advantage of her body-that is probably why she attached herself to me. I felt sorry for her and because I knew that I would not do anything wrong with her, I accepted her request. I told her,
"OK, I'll let you come home with me, but only for one day and I forbid you to suggest anything about ‘A to Z'."
She thanked me, pulled me onto her motorcycle, and drove me back to my hotel. Honestly when I got on her motorcycle I realized I was-so stupid. I blamed myself for not making the right decision and prayed that God would protect me. And at the same time, I scrambled for ideas of how to get myself out of this situation-away from her! But I could not!
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Just like that, in the few hours of that afternoon, she became comfortable with me and trust me to the point of telling me her life story. The story I later named-"More than Half of a Lifetime." And I will let her tell you in her own words:
I don't remember my hometown or anything. I just know that I was born in Vietnam, where there are lots of rice fields. In 1996, when I was 9 years old, a lady brought me to Cambodia to be a waitress at a coffee shop. Little did I know, I wasn't here to be a waitress. I was brought here to "fulfill" men's sick sexual desires. I was passed back and forth between pimps (brothel owners) who were "taking care" of me. Since that time, my life has been a living hell! I had no contact with my family or the outside world.
Then when I turned 17, they kicked me out of their "group." I had grown "too old" and was no longer suitable for their "business." I left with little money in my pocket and nowhere to go. I had forgotten my mother tongue (Vietnamese) and even the place I was born; I was left to wander the streets of Cambodia. I tried looking for jobs at all the coffee shops and restaurants in the area. At the same time, I desperately wanted to forget all that had happened to me in the last 8 years, the same way I had forgotten my family and birthplace. But.......
As the money was started disappearing, I realized that my chances of finding a job was very slim. No place would hire me because I had no form of identification. My stomach was empty and growling from starvation-I turned back to the only thing that I knew-"serving men." It has been 2 years since then; I am now 19 years old! That is ten years of suffering-more than half of my lifetime.
It was God's plan for her to meet me, or to be more correct it was honor to have gotten the opportunity to meet her.
Throughout our many conversations, she kept repeating, "You are a good man!" Honestly, I do not have the courage to say that I am a "good man!" But compared to all the men and women who had "passed" through her life, I was, to her, a "good man." I was different than all the men she had ever encountered. Everything that they gave to her, they would demand that she repaid them... with her body. So then, she had to continue to use the "temple of the Holy Spirit" (Roman Catholic people believe that the human body is where the Holy Spirit dwells) to "repay" those... demons.
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The next day, I asked her to stay with me for a few more days-she was really happy and accepted immediately. I told her that I wanted her to take me around the city and to the places where they ran the "business" of abducting, buying, selling, and forcing children into sex slavery.
"Then you will pay for my food, right?" she asked.
"Yeah, I will pay for your food, your gas, and also a little extra for your help."
"I'm just teasing you; I only ask for food and gas, I won't take your money for anything else. You are a good man," she repeated once more.
In the following days, Nga helped me discover the "web" that entangled these children into the billions dollar business of human trafficking. I came to see how in order to get rich, they would sell these young girls for sexual pleasure.
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From then on, I gave her a Vietnamese name-Nga-Thiên Nga (which means - beautiful swan). Everyday-all day-we would roam every place where there was possible "trade" of children for sex, from fancy restaurants on crowded boulevards to little brothels at the end of muddy roads. Nga didn't hesitate to tell me all the "secret things" that went on in that horrible world, the world where she spent more than half of her life. Even though I already knew most of these things, I acted naïve so she would keep talking! And here again, in her own words:
All the children from Vietnam or Cambodia who are sold into sex slavery are divided into two groups: girls who are 5-11 years old and girls who are 12 and up. The girls in the first group, for the most part, only perform oral sex because they aren't physically mature (they have not had their first menarche). Each time, the men pay between 30-50 dollars, depending on whether or not he knew how to barter. After each "service," the girls were rewarded a bowl of instant noodle or some pastry so that they can "recharge" their energy for the next customer. On average, the children have to serve between 10-15 men each day.
In the second group, the girls have already had their first period. They aren't considered pure. Their work isn't limited to just oral sex. They have to have sexual intercourse with the men. On the typical day, these girls usually have to serve over ten men, unless they are "lucky" enough to be rented by a man over a period of one week or a few days. Also, there are times, the men would take them back to their hotels to party and get drunk. After being drunk, these men would rape them again, again and again. These kinds of things still happen quite frequently. I (Nga) can't even count the number of times this has happened to me.
But, the situation that the children feared the most was being stuck with the ones who used drugs. These men would force them to use also, and during the high (from the drugs), the things that happened were very terrifying. The combination of sex and drugs is always very dangerous to the human life.
"Yum Yum" is the term they use when referring to oral sex and "Boom Boom" means sexual intercourse.
The girls in both groups mentioned above are not only confined and regulated by the pimps, but also by the guards who get paid to keep these girls from running away. Depending on the allegiance of each child, the amount of freedom they receive can vary. I (Nga), for example, before being kicked out of the group, had the freedom to go all around the city-but of course, I could not escape. If I got caught trying to escape, then they would punish and continuously beat me.
I asked her why she was still doing that "business" when she wasn't being restricted anymore. She put her head down and tears ran down her face.
Reflection:
My dear friends, in the previous story, I said that nobody wants to hear a sad story because it will make you even sadder. Today I will end this story "More than Half of a Lifetime" - with a happy ending, ok?!
By the time I wrote this story, Nga had become a proud owner of a small coffee shop in the middle of the location of where she spent more than half of her life "selling her body" to feed herself. Though her life is still very difficult; she no longer has to endure the physical pain and emotional shame! She admits that there are people who look down on her and even make rude comments-but she is not afraid. She is working hard to forget the past 10 years (more than half) of her life, to rise up!
Thank you, my many dear friends, who helped fund Nga's coffee shop so that she can have a firm foundation to start her new life! Thank you Nga for picking yourself up and facing the realities so that you can become a better person!
My dear friends, surely not every child who has suffered from being sold/forced/trapped/misled into sex slavery is able to pick themselves up as Nga has done. But people like Nga have begun to light up the world of darkness! Lighting the way for me and for you, so that we can continue to step forward!
What makes me happiest is that Nga has slowly started to help other sexually abused children to overcome the pains of their life. However, Nga has not been able to do it publicly-because she could be killed! The pimps and theirs protectors (the local government officials) are watching her every move very carefully and they have threatened her life many times. However, the love, the laughter, or even just a little food or a cup of water that she shares with these children is an act that must be applauded by all of us!
The truth is that Nga was, and still is, a living example of what Jesus said to the woman who committed adultery, "Neither do I condemn you; go home and sin no more." (John 8:11).
We pray for those who profit off these children's pain and suffering, so that they can "go and sin no more!"
(Excerpt from "True Stories"
Please check back for more "True Stories" from Father Martino on this topic.)
Father Martino Nguyễn Bá Thông
One Body VilalgeP.O BOX 162933Atlanta, GA 30321www.onebodyvillage.org
